Shit. I was supposed to be back working on The Book, but I
need to get this one out while The Fire is running hot.
I know I should apply The Fire to The Book (don’t accuse me
of being a Nazi, if you can’t perceive a play on words, stop reading now) but I
have stared at a half completed sentence for half the night. I haven’t eaten properly
in two days and am about to step into Politics for the first time in a while. Bear
with me. This might get a little brutal.
What has spurred me to action in this instance is my
agreement to help manage a campaign for the position of Lord Mayor of Brisbane
but now, rumours are escaping The Canberra Bubble that would suggest PM Scott
Morrison is considering asking The Governor General for a double-dissolution
election. That would be two in roughly five years.
Factcheck me all you want, but I’m willing to say that has
never happened in the history of The Commonwealth of Australia (sorry Mob, we’ll
get that title changed one day). I’m busy trying to cook the chook I should’ve roasted
last night but was too tired, write this screed and not let my beer get warm
before I get the chance to finish it, so this article is bugger all researched.
I’m running on fumes right now and if you want to pick holes in whatever I’m
about to say. GO FOR IT. I’m gunning for a fight right now, and if you’re grown
up enough to realise that arguments are settled with words rather than weapons.
COME AT ME.
It’s this little rumour that has emerged from our Nation’s
Capital which has really thrown a bloody spanner in the works. I don’t know if
the PM’s Pentecostal Peons have been paying attention to my daily posts
pointing out Mr Morrison’s flaws and correlating those with others espousing
the positive aspects of The Candidate. I’m not going to name her because she
won’t know I’ve written this until it’s up. But if you have the intelligence of
a Morrison staffer, or higher (not hard) you can figure it out for yourself.
What this evil Happy Clapper, Paedophile Protecting Prancing
Parrot is trying to do is disrupt the Queensland Council Elections in March and
possibly even the State Elections which must be held before October 31, 2020.
The Smirking Shart is under the impression, (not entirely misplaced) that he
won The Country by winning Queensland. Again, factcheck me, but I think it’s
not been more than maybe two times a Commonwealth Government didn’t win
Queensland. Like I said, no time for research, I have poultry to eat. That also
means you can bugger off pointing out any typos’ I may have made. This WILL be
a one night rant. But, the point I’m trying to make is that if Morrison thinks he
can run roughshod over The Colonies North of The Tweed in some attempt to wrest
control at the State level from Labor, reinforce his position Federally and
pick up a few councils for the LNP, there can’t be a single Queenslander on his
staff.
Half the reason The LNP managed to win Queensland Federally
was because Bob Browne thought it was a bright idea to drive his bloody bus
into the Galilee Basin and broadcast a bunch of facts the locals had already
been convinced by the LNP were bullshit.
We don’t take too kindly to Southerners coming up here and
telling us what to do. Be that; who to vote for, what to eat or, mercy on you
if you try, what beer to drink. We’re a stubborn lot and proudly so. If The
Liar From The Shire (I do feel a little conflicted calling him that, given the
real Hobbit in Parliament is Malcolm Roberts, but, hey), thinks he can fly his
taxpayer funded penis extension into Johland and throw his weight around he
will be in for a bit of a shock.
The seats the LNP managed to hold have been marginal for
years and could easily fall if a Federal election is called within the next few
months. Those who believed they would directly benefit from Adani have already
got what they wanted and considering most of the jobs that won’t be created
would be from Union dominated industries, The PM will be walking into a Hellfire
worse than the Bushfires he continues to ignore.
I’ve been saying this your years, so if you’re only just
tuning in – My father is a miner and I’m a miner’s son. His job for the last
couple of decades has been to make his own role redundant. The advances in
automation in the mining industry along with his qualifications and experience in
Maintenance Efficiency essentially means that he is required to put systems in
place that make him surplus to requirements. It usually takes about two weeks
for some dimwit to stuff it up and The Old Man gets a new contract with a
raise. This time it only took two days. But I’m getting off point as usual.
If you want to hear from an expert on Mining, shut up while
The Old Man is speaking. In the time it takes him to finish two pints, you’ll
have more knowledge than a graduate in Minerals Management. A simple question
like ‘Why’s Adani a shit idea?’ is a good place to start. Make sure, you both
have full glasses before you do it though. The reason this is relevant is
because those Queenslanders in the Marginal Northern Seats are starting to
realise that there will be bugger all long term employment opportunities from
projects such as Adani because someone on an active site has spoken to someone
like The Old Man over dinner and been served a plate of knowledge they weren’t
expecting.
Brothers, Nieces and Cousins have heard from relatives on
site that any new development will have “bugger all jobs, except for some
dickheads in an office in Brisbane” as the true gospel spoken by some bloke who
has the same job as my Dad. And they aren’t lying.
If Scott Morrison decides to ask for a double-dissolution,
those seats he’s counting on in Queensland might not be so willing to back him
this time around. George Christensen will be forced to remove his maliit na
titi from his child bride and get his slightly reduced arse back to Dawson. I
haven’t even raised it with The Old Man yet. But he would wipe the floor with
the fat bastard if I can convince him to run. Not only are we related to half of
Mackay and its surrounds, to the point that you can’t go for a drive without
going past something named after an ancestor, The Old Man is the smartest
person I’ve ever met. That might not be saying much, given I didn’t get the
chance to meet Professor Hawking and hold out hope that soon Sir Attenborough
will grace me with his presence.
I will however point out I went to one of the most elite
private schools in Australia and have studied three degrees, so it’s not as if
I’ve only been associating with incompetent ignoramuses. (I know plenty (most
from fancy pants school) everyone does, they just aren’t the majority). And
that’s not bragging, the school taught me nothing in an academic sense and I
never bothered to finish any of the degrees, but there were very intelligent people
in those institutions who couldn’t hold a candle to The Old Man.
But I’m getting way off topic and the sun will be up in
fifteen minutes, I must bring this to a close.
Where this rambling rant was supposed to lead you, was that
if Scott Morrison is stupid enough to think he will be able to win the country
twice in less than eighteen months between polls we must welcome this
opportunity with open arms. I speak not only of The Candidate or the miniscule
potential I can convince The Old Man to run (though he is nearing retirement
age, which is a pretty common time for white men to decide to have a tilt at an
elected office). I speak of the silent swell that is growing.
As odd as it might sound, Independents are Uniting. Not to
form a party -- that would be counter-productive, but to ensure that neither
the LNP or Labor hold a majority at any level of government. If it is possible
for every Council, State and Territory legislature and The Commonwealth
Parliament to be held accountable by a truly Independent Cross-Bench we may
come close to achieving True Democracy.
The ability of the two major political entities having the
ability to pass legislation without any real scrutiny and debate, purely because
they have the numbers is a blight on our political process. It is, if one
bothers to analyse it, a striking example as to how Democracy shouldn’t work.
The options offered by the major parties boils down to a choice between “Corrupt”
Unions or “Criminal” Corporations. The populace is starting to realise that
they want what’s best for them. Not what’s best for the person they elected in
the hope that official would work to improve their own and communities’ situation
but did bugger all except sort themselves out with a cushy job in the private
sector so they could quit and transfer to a much higher salary.
We.
The People.
Are Sick Of This Shit.
Essentially, the message, Mr Morrison is that the sooner you
call an election, the sooner you will lose power.
Mr Albanese don’t start smirking in the manner of your
opponent, you will suffer as badly as he does.
The Independents are rising, and The People behind them.
You have no idea how much the general populace is fed up
with The Major Parties and minority Governments will soon become the norm in
Australia.
Get ready for Question Time to become Answer Time. When Independents
outnumber The Nationals and are provided more opportunities to ask Questions,
whichever dipstick manages to get the title of Prime Minister, there will be no
time to hide behind Dixers.
And you’ll be proper screwed when you’re forced elect an
Independent as Speaker of The House and President of The Senate.
Pause for a moment and consider how wonderful that would be.
Mr Morrison. If you don’t ask the GG to order a double
dissolution before March, we’ll take Brisbane.
By October, Queensland.
And then we’re coming for your job Waterboy.
Everyone has seen the photo of you pissing yourself.
Hope you didn’t have another mishap as you read that.
HH 2019
P.S. If anyone mentioned by name wants to sue me. You’ll
have to Raise Newstart. Won’t be able to pay you back otherwise.
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